It’s 90 degrees on a Sunday and I’m schvitzing on the way back from brunch. Who wants to put on a costume? This girl. The 33rd annual Central Coast Renaissance Festival at Laguna Lake Park was calling and I had nothing to wear and no expectations. I considered heading to a costume shop or thrift store before surmising that my exploding closet surely had something to offer. With about 30 minutes to prepare I slipped into a breezy floral number I got for 3 bucks at Goodwill. It was hardly on theme; but paired with a funky headscarf, my best gold costume jewelry, and some multicolored bangles – I was sufficiently festive for pirate day. My friends Michelle, Tianna, and I voyaged down Los Osos Valley Road toward the unknown.
We received a warm greeting from flirtatious staff and took a quick survey of the area. There were maidens, meat pies, artisans, garlic fries, and Her Majesty the Queen. Her Majesty addressed an adoring crowd, and her court was feverishly fanatic (and weren’t gonna’ break character anytime soon). Walking past the beer garden and several merchants, we figured most folks in tents had something for sale.
We happened upon a tented area where costumed folks lounged on ornate rugs while others sat at tables with beverages. Thinking this was our first opportunity for participation, we confidently walked in assuming the bartender would sell us a beverage. A few gentlemen called us back to the front and respectfully, in and out of English accents, said they did not have any drinks for sale. It became clear this was their private space and that there is indeed a culture with norms. Ask if you can enter or wait for the invite.
Minutes later we were invited to feast with the Italian embassy and learned much from our new friends from Firenze. They explained that serious participants in faire culture follow Her Majesty to all of the Shires—the Shire of Tahoe and Shire of Angels for example. They also called attention to our blinged out pseudo pirate wear; explaining that back in ye olde school days our adornments would be an ostentatious and dangerous display of wealth. “Be careful, there are pirates,”they warned with all sincerity.
Enter Ladies Essex and Oxford, countesses and ladies- in- waiting to Her Majesty. These two beauties gave us an historical earful along with tips on how to be down with the Queen. Unlike the Italians, Lady Essex broke character and acknowledged that she and her homegirl are indeed not these people. They confessed about the expense and labor of their hobby, which is clearly a labor of love. Their advice to any faire hopefuls? Play a role in society that fits your interests and skills. I’ll take that guidance in or out of Elizabethan English. I bid thee farewell.
Courtney Haile is a writer and fitness instructor living in San Luis Obispo.
By Courtney Haile, Photos by Michelle Arata
