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Police Blotter

• Feb. 2: At 4:42 a.m. some pesky transient man was pacing to the bus stop and back in the 800 block of Foothill outside Scout Coffee. At 6 the early birdbrain was being a worm and making folks uncomfortable outside Starbucks on Chorro. He’d flown the coop after the bus no doubt arrived and not a minute too soon.
• Feb. 2: At 4:14 a.m. on Laurel Lane another suspicious subject was underneath a tree suffering PTSD, which doesn’t stand for — poor transient soused and disturbed.
• Feb. 2: At 2:53 a.m. in the 1000 block of San Adriano, a car alarm had been honking for an hour, but of course was quiet when police arrived.
• Feb. 2: Someone called at 2 a.m. from the Marsh Street parking garage to report trespassing on public property, which sounds like an oxymoron.
• Feb. 2: At 1:53 a.m. someone reported a passed out fellow at Habit Burger.
• Feb. 2: Someone at the Stenner Glen student housing asylum complained about a loud party, as they were apparently not invited. At 12:18 a.m. someone reported a brother-sister brawling in the parking lot at 7-Eleven.
• Feb. 1: At 11 p.m. police got a call from the Vet’s Hall on Grand by a woman who said her boyfriend grabbed her and would not let her return to the party. The 30-year-old fellow was arrested, in the latest example of why love stinks.
• Feb. 1-2: Police responded multiple times to Mustang village to oversee the towing off of five vehicles caught without parking passes, among about a dozen reports in one day of illegally parked or abandoned cars.
• Feb. 1: A citizen in the 2200 block of San Luis reported a vehicle driving back and forth slowly in the neighborhood and parking in front of the nervous Nellie’s house.
• Feb. 1: At 8 p.m. police were called to the Crandall Apartments where they’d captured a Ford Escape parked illegally and towed the interloper off.
• Feb. 1: In yet another shining example of the improper use of 9-1-1, someone reported a Prius at Marsh and Garden parked half in a red zone and half in a motorcycle space. It was of course gone on arrival.
• Feb. 1: At 5:30 p.m. someone at Branch and Cypress reported a suspicious man crawling, walking weird and not acting normal, whatever that is in the age of Trumpnado. The fellow slithered off before they arrived.
• Feb. 1: At 4:30 p.m. in the 3500 block of Bullock, Cal Poly police asked for backup to arrest a burglary suspect.
• Feb. 1: At 4 p.m. someone reported seeing a guy steal mail out of mailboxes near the Prado Road homeless daycare center.
• Feb. 1: A citizen reported at 5:45 p.m. some malcontent in Mitchell Park was drinking hooch and — *GASP!* — smoking a cigarette, this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Feb. 1: Police got a call at 4 p.m. from the 3800 block of Broad after a scared female employee working by herself said she could hear a transient camping behind the Hearing Solutions Store.
Feb. 1: At 2 p.m. a worry wart called to say there were two dogs running loose on Foothill at Calvary Baptist Church and she’s praying they won’t get run over.
• Feb. 1: At 1:23 p.m. police got a complaint about some slacker outside We Olive on Higuera sitting on a bench talking to himself.
• Feb. 1: At 11 a.m. some citizen reported being assaulted at Burger King on Madonna, an apparent case of getting whoppered.
• Feb. 1: At 10:30 a.m. at Love and Descanso some vehicle lost a battle with a City transit bus.
• Feb. 1: Someone stole a sign off the side of the AT&T store on Froom Ranch Rd., no doubt another satisfied customer.
• Feb. 1: At 10 a.m. someone reported suspicious jack wagons at the Jack House.
• Feb. 1: Stop the presses — someone called at 8:45 a.m. to report a trespasser at The Tribune.
• Feb. 1: Police were called at 7:38 a.m. to Emerson Park because some belligerent transient camper was screaming obscenities behind the City Parks and Recreation Office.

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