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Business Matters Police Blotter


San Luis Obispo

• Aug. 17: Police were called at 6:44 a.m. to check the welfare of a suspicious man in the 1100 block of Laurel who was last seen banging something against a wall. At 6:12, they went to the area of Pepper and Pacific where some hobos under the overpass were loudly talking about the evil weed, no doubt ‘cause they ain’t got none.

• Aug. 17: Police and fire were sent at 5 a.m. to the Hwy 101 on ramp at LOVR for a grass fire after a homeless person’s campfire got loose in the dry brush. Fire department said it burned a 50 by 50-foot area before they got it out.

• Aug. 17: Police were called at 1:38 a.m. to the California Pizza Kitchen Downtown to see about a “severe back and kidney pain patient” who was on a bench outside and apparently in crisis. Meanwhile at 1:41 a.m. someone reported a suspicious van parked on Orcutt between Lawnwood and Fernwood with some poor schmoe sleeping inside. Police didn’t arrive for 20 minutes and the mobile citizen skedaddled.

• Aug. 16: Police were called at midnight to Mo Tav in the 800 block of Higuera where some p*ssed fellow took a whiz in public, on the side of a Safe Ride van and was now sitting on a bench like nothing happened.

• Aug. 16: Police were called at 11:09 p.m. to the 3000 block of Higuera at the Chumash Village MHP where a resident said a woman tried to get into their house then told some story about bad men chasing her. Officers started a crime report on the movie of the week.

• Aug. 16: Police responded at 10:41 p.m. to the 1600 block of Dalidio for an assault report, as apparently someone at the Post Office went postal.

• Aug. 16:  At 10:44 p.m. police were called to break up a loud backyard party in the 2000 block of Hope. Some poor schmuck had just six friends over and still got cited.

• Aug. 16: At 10:26 p.m. the alarm on the pool deck at the YMCA on Sinsheimer Dr., went off. It was apparently a malfunction and not pool crashing hooligans.

• Aug. 16: At 9:30 p.m. someone reported a flipped-out floozy running around the parking lot at McCarthy’s Cocktail Lounge being “very antagonizing” (i.e. pickin’ fights) and yelling her fool head off.

• Aug. 16: Police were called at 6:38 p.m. to South and Lawton for a muni code violation, three homeless guys were “congregating” and their meager belongings were blocking the sidewalk, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.

• Aug. 16: Police were called at 6:16 p.m. to C.L. Smith School after some creep tried to sell the evil weed to some kids playing at the school.

• Aug. 16: Police were called at 4 p.m. to the 1000 block of Peach where several unknown trespassers had snuck through the locked rear gate of the offices of James Lawrence, LLC, and were having an unbillable picnic.

• Aug. 16: A woman called at 4:47 p.m. from Marsh and Santa Rosa and said she’d just been rear-ended and the SOB drove off. Her car wasn’t damaged but there’s the pain, oh the pain, pain in her back and neck…

• Aug. 16: A man said he lost his brown, bi-fold wallet with his driver’s license, credit cards and $140 cash at the Amtrak Station, a case of check the club car for the loot.

• Aug. 16: At 12:51 p.m. police were called to the police station to check the welfare of some speed bump who was laying down blocking the entrance gate to the station house back lot.

• Aug. 16: Police got a request for increased nighttime patrols in the 300 block of Higuera at Central Coast Dressmaking.

• Aug. 16: Police were called at8 a.m. to the 1500 block of Calle Joaquin for a reported assault. An employee at Margie’s Diner said his or her co-worker punched them in the arm several times. A crime report was started and there’s no doubt a job opening or two coming up at the diner.

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