Police Blotter—Dec 4, 2014

Morro Bay

• Nov. 24: A citizen in the 600 block of Estero said some scoundrel tried to open a credit card account in his or her name, an apparent occasion when bad credit might pay off.
• Nov. 24: Police went to Harbor and Shasta where a citizen said someone stole prescription meds out of their unlocked vehicle, a case where nasty side effects might be in order. In unrelated cases, someone vehicle was vandalized while parked in the 700 block of Embarcadero, and innocent vehicles in the 2500 and 2400 blocks of Greenwood were victimized too — a regular crime wave in this burg.
• Nov. 24: Police responded at 4:37 p.m. to a disturbance in the 200 block of Surf St., where they arrested a 44-year-old sozzled woman for suspicion of being too deep in her cups.
• Nov. 25: Some scalawag stole $45.50 worth of gasoline from a boat docked in the 600 block of Embarcadero.
• Nov. 25: Police responded at 9:39 p.m. to a disturbance in the 700 block of Pacific. Logs indicated someone just wanted to document that he or she’d been battered but apparently wasn’t ticked off enough to press charges.
• Nov. 26: Police responded at 8 a.m. to a disturbance in the 700 block of Embarcadero where some 49-year-old local yokel was hooked up for being schwasted in public where the tourists can see him.
• Nov. 28: Ah, the travails of the urban forest. Police took a report of a tree limb falling on a vehicle parked in the 500 block of Morro Bay Blvd., for the inevitable lawsuit to follow.
• Nov. 29: Police contacted an unidentified felonious fellow in the 2400 block of Hemlock and popped the weasel for suspicion of possessing drug paraphernalia, appropriation of “lost” property and of course being higher than the stacks on drugs.
• Nov. 29: Police responded to Avalon Street to take a report of a runaway juvenile who’d left sometime earlier, having apparently not been missed right away.
• Nov. 30: Some pilfering Grinch stole jewelry from some of the vendors at the all-but-rained-out Holiday Street Fair.
• Nov. 30: Police responded at 10:34 p.m. to the 700 block of Quintana where they arrested a 51-year-old man for suspicion of kidnapping, false imprisonment and of course DUI. He was booked into the County Jail, and hopefully the key thrown away.
• Nov. 30: Police responded at 10:32 p.m. to a residence in the 300 block of Surf. Logs indicated some thieves broke into a garage and stole “numerous construction tools, landscaping tools, cash, and coins,” which stinks of an inside job.

Pismo Beach

• Nov. 25: An trespassing tree limb was blocking the sidewalk and bike lane on the 800 block of 4th Street. A city crew removed it.
• Nov. 25: A guy dressed all in black with a shawl over his head was reportedly hovering in dark corners and bushes near the Kon Tiki Inn. As if that wasn’t odd enough, anytime management tried to approach him he would walk away. He was advised to hit the road Jack.
• Nov. 25: An adult man and his mother were having a spat over keys, a check and tennis shoes on the 200 block of Addie.
• Nov. 24: A caller reported a possible DUI driver tailgating her. He was busted when he pulled over at the Chevron gas station.
• Nov. 24:A guy sitting in front of Scotty on a bench was so hammered he could barely get up, but when he did, he was stumbling. He was benched in the slammer.
• Nov. 24: A caller reported an old man staggering on the 1100 block of Price wearing a coat, shorts and one shoe.
• Nov. 24: A caller on the 2500 block of Coburn reported a strange man wearing a straw hat was in his house. The guy kicked a female resident of the home and then sat in the driveway. He was arrested for being a DIP (drunk in public).
• Nov. 24: A note was found under a hotel room door at the Sandcastle Inn that said “Help.” It was children playing.
• Nov. 24: At the request of her boyfriend’s family, a woman went to check on him in the 2000 block of Costa Del Sol. When she showed up at his house he was standing naked at the front door and yelled at her to leave. The poor naked guy was suffering from PTSD.
• Nov. 24: Police were unable to locate noisy people drinking in the hot tub at the Sandcastle Inn. The stewed prunes jumped the fence and were gone before police arrived.
• Nov. 23: A guy at Harry’s Bar, who got into an altercation with someone and refused to leave, was put behind bars. In other watering hole news, a woman reported that a man she had met at Harry’s, who was staying at an area hotel, stole her car keys. The keys were located at a nearby swing set. The woman, who had been drinking, decided to call for a ride home.
• Nov. 23: A caller reported two men asking for signatures in front of California Fresh were harassing customers. One dude was arrested on drug related charges and a probation violation. No doubt petitioning to repeal the three strikes rule.
• Nov. 23: A man with duct tape covering his mouth was protesting something in front of Splash Café. He was advised to move on, to which he no doubt responded “Hmmfgrgh.”
• Nov. 23: A call came in and dispatch could hear someone pushing buttons and a man talking to a female about programming a phone. Leave it to a man to not read the instructions.

San Luis Obispo

• Nov. 26: A woman in the 1300 block of Nipomo called at 12:41 a.m. and said an unknown subject opened her bedroom door, shined a flashlight in her room and then ran off, apparently not liking what he saw.
• Nov. 26: At 2 a.m. at 7-Eleven on Marsh they needed protection from some inebriated dingus who broke a glass and then got froggy with everyone.
• Nov. 26: At 2:04 a.m. police were called to Mo Tav on Higuera for some fool who no doubt got loud and then apparently got hit, as now he’s got a cut up face.
• Nov. 26: Some no doubt Dean’s lister threw a rock through the office window at the San Luis Coastal School District Office.
• Nov. 25: Police went to the Amtrak Station at 7:27 a.m. because there was some nasty cobra inside refusing to leave and threatening to spit. He’d slithered off before they arrived.
• Nov. 25: The folks at Dr. Idleman’s Office in the 600 block of California said they’re having an ongoing problem of transients sleeping behind their building, as it sounds like a good nesting spot. Then at 8:43 a.m. someone at Walter Bros., Const., in the 3200 block of Higuera reported another dumpster snoozer and logs said, “RP can point him out.”
• Nov. 25: Someone called at 8:30 a.m. from the 600 block of Tank Farm to report seeing his or her sister-in-law walking towards Broad about 10 minutes ago, as apparently giving her a lift was out of the question.
• Nov. 25: Someone in the 200 block of California called at 9:24 a.m. and said the frat house “is making the whole bock smell.”
• Nov. 25: A man called at 10:33 a.m. from the 600 block of Tank Farm and said a “deranged, lunatic, psychopath” was threatening him. No report was done, as apparently the guy’s mostly a BS’er.
• Nov. 25: Someone called at 11:12 a.m. from Mitchell Park to report a bothersome sot and a 34-year-old besotted broad was bounced off to the County funhouse. They got a second call at Mitchell Park for more boorish behavior. Two more stumblebums ages 61 and 50 were also hauled to the nick and the park is ours again.
• Nov. 25: At 11:17 a.m. police got a 9-1-1 call from Starbucks on Madonna that a transient man swiped a drink off the bar that wasn’t his, a potential hanging offense in Seattle.
• Nov. 25: Someone reported a disturbance at 11:30 a.m. in the 4100 block of Higuera where four men and a woman, associated with a POS motor home, were raising hell by the PG&E yard.
• Nov. 25: Someone called at 11:51 a.m. from Monterey and Santa Rosa to report a mentally deranged man, 50, wearing khaki shorts and a tan sun hat and blue backpack. He was gone when police arrived, no doubt back at his desk at the County Government Asylum.
• Nov. 25: At noon someone at the Prado homeless day care center on Prado Road complained about some guy who ain’t supposed to be there period, who keeps coming in and out, a case of “I dare ya’ to cross ‘dis line.” “I dare ya’ to cross ‘dis line…” He got the hint before the boys in blue arrived to drive the point home.
• Nov. 25: A citizen in the 2300 block of Broad called at 12:35 p.m. to complain that all the speakers at the Car Audio Center were turned up so loud it was shaking his or her house.
• Nov. 25: Someone called at 1 p.m. from Madonna Plaza and complained there was a panhandler in front of every store, so much for the “season of giving.”
• Nov. 25: Someone at Albertsons on Foothill reported a transient man and woman in a gray Volvo with tin foil over the windows was apparently getting jiggy in the parking lot.
• Nov. 25: At 1:21 p.m. someone reported two men in a black pick up parked behind an oak tree on San Luis Dr., were digging a hole, in this week’s latest example of why we need SWAT.
• Nov. 25: At 2:30 p.m. someone at Calla del Camino and Broad found a STOP sign lying on the ground but the metal pole was missing, as the thief apparently has his own sign.
• Nov. 25: Police got a call at 2:50 in the 400 block of Marsh from an elderly lady who said a “strange young girl” was coming into her home, as it was no doubt sponge bath time.
• Nov. 25: Someone at Leff and Osos called at 2:53 p.m. to report a schwasted woman leaning against a green Jeep Cherokee. The 50-year-old barfologist was hauled to the County B&B for perhaps the worst night of her life.
• Nov. 25: A man called police at 3:24 p.m. and said he’d gotten a call from his ex-sister-in-law who said she was going to do herself in, a possible case of wrong sister?
• Nov. 25: Police were called at 4:30 to the 300 block of Higuera where some brazen thief pedaled off with a bicycle from Wally’s Bike Shop and was last seen pedaling his a** off towards Downtown. In an unrelated case, at 4:43 at Rite Aid on Foothill a shoplifter had bolted out of the store and the apparent track star was last seen running towards LOVR, which is about 3 miles away.
• Nov. 25: A burglar alarm went off in the first block of Madonna but was deemed a malfunction rather than human error, as there ain’t no one working at Caltrans at 5:36.
• Nov. 25: Police responded at 5:56 p.m. to the Vons Store on Broad for a 65-year-old woman with a hurt hand. Logs indicated they arrested some scoundrel for suspicion of battery and strong-armed robbery.
• Nov. 25: Police were called at 6:39 p.m. to Albertsons on Johnson for an unresponsive man slumped over behind the wheel of a car with a needle sticking out of his arm (you really can’t make this up folks). The 24-year-old apparent hype was arrested for suspicion of being fuzzucked up on drugs.
• Nov. 25: A citizen called at 7 p.m. and said that while driving by an alley in the 300 block of Patricia, someone threw a water balloon at his or her vehicle but police couldn’t find the hooligans, a case of where’s Rin-Tin-Tin when you need him? In an unrelated incident, at 8:30 p.m. in the area of Beebee and South, some apparent redneck in a gray Silverado license No. 44718A1 threw a beer can at the caller’s car.
• Nov. 25: At 7:22 p.m. someone reported a 60-something, Asian woman, with gray hair, was setting up camp at the Marsh Street Post Office. She was advised to leave before they ship her off to the pokey.
• Nov. 25: At 8:52 p.m. someone said there was a group of people sitting on a bench in Stoneridge Park possibly smoking the evil weed. They’d wafted off before police arrived.