Good to be King
By King Harris

I was very sorry to hear about the passing the other day of satirist, Stan Freberg, even though he and other celebrities and music makers in the 1950s, like Steve Allen, Mitch Miller and Frank Sinatra, vehemently disliked rock ‘n’ roll (Sinatra calling it music written by ‘cretinous goons’) which was my favorite fad back in the day.
But Freberg, who was a voice actor, a puppeteer, a comedian, a satirist, author, radio personality, and genius ad man, was clever enough to parody rock ‘n’ roll in a style like no one else. No one escaped his wit, not the “Nabob of Sob,” Johnny Ray “Try,” or the Chords’ “Sh-Boom,” The Platters’ “The Great Pretender,” Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel,” Lonnie Donegan’s “The Rock Island Line,” Harry Belafonte’s “Banana Boat Song,” Lawrence Welk, Jack Web in “Dragnet,” or the TV comedy, “The Honeymooners,” plus practically anything else.
Here are lyrics from “Saint George and the Dragonet:
Narrator: “The legend you are about to hear is true. Only the needle should be changed to protect the record.”
St. George: “This is the countryside. My name is St. George. I’m a knight.
“Saturday, July 10, 8:05 p.m. I was working out of the castle on the nightwatch when a call came in from the Chief. A dragon had been devouring maidens.
“Homicide. My job — slay him.”
St. George: “You call me, Chief?”
Chief: “Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens. The King’s daughter may be next!”
St. George: “Mmm-hmm. You got a lead?”
Chief: “Oh, nothing much to go on. Say, did you take that .45 automatic into the lab to have them check on it?”
St. George: “Yeah. You were right.”
Chief: “I was right.”
St. George: “Yeah. It was a gun. 8:22 p.m. I talked to one of the maidens who had almost been devoured.
St. George: “Could I talk to you, Ma’am?”
Maiden: “Who are you?”
St. George: “I’m St. George, Ma’am. Homicide, ma’am. Want to ask you a few questions, ma’am. I understand you were almost devoured by the dragon, ma’am. Is that right? Dragon?”
Maiden: “It was terrible. He breathed fire on me. He burned me already.”
St. George: “How can I be sure of that, Ma’am?”
Maiden: “Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon’s mouth.”
Freberg was at his best when he made fun of the Top 10 tunes of the day, like this take-off of “Day-o, the Banana Boat Song:”
“ Day-o, day-o. Daylight come and me wan go home. Day, he say…”
(Man, I`m gonna have to ask you not to shout like that.)
“Well…” (It`s like right in my ear)
“It goes with the song.”
(Yeah, but don`t holler in my ear, man!)
“Well, it`s authentic Calypso.”
(Yeah, but try standing next to me, man.)
“Well, the shout go with the bongo drum.”
(Not my bongo drums, man. I mean, move away.)
“Well, I don`t see why.”
(No, no, no, stand over next to the guitar, man)
“He sent me over here.”
(Yeah, well, then sing soft, man. You know, I mean like, wow!)
“Ok. Day…!”
(It`s too loud, man.)
“Day…
(That`s better.)
“Me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day.
“Me say day-o, daylight come and me wan go home…”
(Yeah, man!)
“Work all night on a drink of rum. Daylight come and me wan go home.
“Stack banana ‘til the morning come.
“Daylight come and me wan go home.”
“Lift six foot, seven foot…” (Hold it, man) eight foot bunch!”
(Hold it, man)
“Daylight come and (Too loud, man) me wan go home.” (Too loud)
“Lift six foot, seven foot (Hold it, man.) eight foot bunch!” (Hold it, man.)
“Daylight come and me wan go home.” (My ears, man, like my ears!)
“Day…” (No, hold it, man) “Me say day-o” (It`s too shrill, man! It`s too piercing)
“Well, I don`t see why.”
(No, it`s too piercing, man. It`s too piercing)
“Well, I got to do the shout.” (No, man, it`s too piercing. Like I don`t dig loud noises)
“Well, you ruined the whole (Piercing) record is what you did.”
(Yeah, well, tough. I`ll take my bongos and go, man. Cause the whole is like bugging me, anyhow.)
“Yeah, well, wait a minute. I won`t shout.” (No, man. Like I didn`t wanna make this gig in the first place)
“Oh, no, wait a minute. I`ll be soft.” (Yeah, well, then back off from me, man. It`s too piercing)
“Okay, how`s this? Day-o…” (Too loud, man.)
“Okay, day-o” (Too loud, man I can still hear you. Would you mind leaving the room?)
“Okay” *footsteps leaving* “Day, me say day-o (Crazy) *footsteps entering* “Daylight come and me wan go home… *footsteps leaving*
“Day, me say day-o…” *footsteps entering* “Daylight come and me wan go home.
“A beautiful bunch of ripe banana. Daylight come and me wan go home.
“Hide the deadly black tarantula. Daylight come and me wan go home.”
(No, man, don`t sing about spiders. I mean, like I don`t dig spiders.)
“Well, that`s how the song goes. It goes hide the deadly black tarantula. Daylight come and me wan go home…” (Is that it, can I leave now?)
“Not yet, we got a big finish.” *footsteps leaving*
“Me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day-o” *knocking*
“Hey, I locked myself out.” (Crazy) *window breaks* “I come through the window (Yeah)
“Daylight come and me wan go home…”
The ironic thing is that whenever Freberg poked fun of these songs, their sales went up.