There Once Was a Girl in HR…

Betsey Nash bubble portraitOnly Human
By Betsey Nash, SPHR

The phone started ringing off the hook last month with business owners asking me to write their employee handbooks in time for them to include the new paid sick leave policy, going into effect July 1.
I love writing handbooks, so I said, “Yes, gladly. Let me prepare a document that reflects our company’s personality while laying out the legal and cultural guidelines with which you’ll conduct your employee relationships.” (OK, not in those exact words, but that’s what I meant.)
If your company emphasizes taking care of its customers, don’t just have a “customer service policy,” but weave your philosophy into every section of the handbook. The employee will see that it is fundamental to the entire business.
Is professionalism the key to your brand? Then use more formal language and spell out what professionalism looks like so that there will be no misunderstanding about the standard you set.
A paragraph setting out your “mission statement” is not enough. Find a way to bring it into every single policy.
One of my favorite clients, Clever Ducks, once considered writing a handbook based on the book, “How to be Pope.” Owner Amy Kardel had seen it at some airport bookstore and thought I could adapt it to fit her business. I never did figure out, though if she wanted me to keep the Papal theme or make it about ducks?
I’ll have to find out if she ever wrote one that fit the bill. (Sorry.)
I have often thought about writing “Employee Handbooks for Dummies,” but they wouldn’t be for the popular book series, they would be, well… for dummies.
Attendance? Show up on time. And “on time” means ON TIME. If you start at 8 be here at 8.
Vacation? You get two vacation days every week. They are called Saturday and Sunday. You’re welcome.
Open door policy? If you have a complaint, come see me when you also have a suggestion about how to fix it. Otherwise, don’t come see me. I don’t have time to hear you whine. Harsh? Sure, but I know you’ve had those same thoughts.
It would also be fun to write one in iambic pentameter or a limerick. Here’s our policy on “Working When Sick:”
“There once was a woman named Sue
Who came to work sick with the flu
She coughed and she sneezed
And HR was not pleased
When everyone else got it, too.”
There is no fun way to write about the new paid sick leave law. Even businesses that cannot afford to pay for sick time to employees that never expected it, will have to comply.
A former client called, irate and wondering why this attack on small business has not caused a huge uproar? I have no answer. It has been on my radar for months, and, bleeding heart that I am, I sure don’t like it.
My client, owner of a small business in Pismo, has been on a Santa Maria talk show and written Op-ed pieces in local newspapers and is determined to see some changes.
The author of the bill has already introduced “clean up” legislation to clarify some things in the law, but I haven’t heard of any move to repeal it.
“A paid sick leave law was once passed
By folks with their head up their …”
Nope, can’t do it.

Betsey Nash, SPHR, SHRM-SCP is a long time human resources professional, small business owner, and poetry enthusiast. She can be reached at: . Only Human is a regular feature of Tolosa Press.