Arroyo Grande
• Aug. 29: A man with two outstanding warrants continued his winning streak and got busted for shoplifting at Walmart.
• Aug. 28: Some lucky soul was arrested on the 1200 block or East Grand Ave., for suspicion of trespassing, possession of a controlled substance, and violating a court order.
• Aug. 28: A guy at Strother Park was found in his car unconscious with it in drive. He was arrested for being under the influence.
• Aug. 28: A man on the 600 block of El Camino Real was arrested for being under the influence and in possession of a switchblade knife — two things that always go well together.
• Aug. 27: The District Attorney requested a report concerning a juvenile playing “ding-dong door ditch” who was chased by the homeowner, fell down and was injured.
• Aug. 27: A woman on the 100 block of Brisco was cited for suspicion of possession of a controlled substance, drug paraphernalia, and possession of meth.
• Aug. 26: An intoxicated person kicking it on the back patio of a business on the 700 block of East Grande Ave., was arrested.
Morro Bay
• Aug. 25: A man in the 500 block of Zanzibar told police that he’s having construction work done at his house and someone had deleted his iPod Classic, a classic case of an inside job.
• Aug. 28: At 7 p.m. police made a run for the border to referee a dispute between a worker and customer in the Taco Bell drive-thru, no chalupas were arrested.
• Aug. 28: Police responded to a motel in the 2600 block of Main after a citizen reported a possible theft from his or her room. The call was unfounded, as the real theft no doubt comes at checkout.
• Aug. 28: Police contacted a regular customer at 11:22 a.m. in Lila Keiser Park. The man, 25, was arrested for suspicion of being higher than the stacks on drugs and possession of paraphernalia, his stash apparently already shot.
• Aug. 28: Police responded at noon to the 700 block of Quintana for a disturbing man. The 34-year old was arrested for suspicion of being high on “inhalants,” and arrested, no doubt with a snort of derision.
• Aug. 27: Police responded at 7:10 a.m. to a store in the 300 block of Atascadero Rd., where two unidentified suspects stole two bundles of firewood worth $15, proving once again people will steal anything.
• Aug. 26: Police responded at 5:36 p.m. to a disturbance in the 800 block of Embarcadero, where a man was pitching a fit. Officers discovered he had five outstanding warrants and hauled him off to the nick, for, as Confucius never said, “Man with warrants best to keep big mouth shut.”
• Aug. 26: Police contacted a woman, 25, at 12:23 p.m. at the Lila Keiser Park shooting gallery and arrested her for suspicion of UTI, paraphernalia and prescription drugs.
• Aug. 25: Police contacted a familiar face at 1 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. The scofflaw, 38, had eight warrants.
• Aug. 24: Police contacted another model citizen at 6:46 p.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. The 53-year-old devotee of Bacchus was nicked to go sleep it off.
• Aug. 23: Two cars went badda-bing badda-boom at 1:40 p.m. at Morro Bay Blvd., and Piney Way.
• Aug. 23: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 2:55 a.m. at Main and Bonita. The woman driver, 29, was ticketed for no license and had two failure-to-appear warrants, a third warrant no doubt in her future.
• Aug. 22: Police contacted a 22-year-old man at 9 p.m. in the 1900 block of Main. He was allegedly high and joined the in crowd at the Parkinson Plaza. He also had a warrant out of Santa Barbara County.
• Aug. 22: Police contacted yet another model citizen at 7:31 p.m. at MBB and Monterey. The all star, 28, was popped for suspicion of being high and sloppy.
• Aug. 22: At 2:27 a.m. an officer noticed an open door in the 2400 block of Greenwood. Upon investigation the police uncovered an apparent murder-suicide.
• Aug. 21: At 10:52 p.m. police responded to a disturbance in the 400 block of Elena. Logs indicated an obstructive fellow, 52, was arrested for allegedly “interfering, delaying and obstructing a firefighter in the performance of his duties.”
• Aug. 20: Police detectives are investigating a report of suspected embezzlement against an “elderly father by known family members,” on Piney Way, here in Peyton Place.
• Aug. 20: Police contacted a 66-year-old man in the 400 block of Quintana and arrested the old hippy, as “Turn on, tune in, drop out,” officially dies.
• Aug. 20: It was a tough day. At 11:22 a.m. an 80-year-old man died in his home of natural causes. At 1:22 p.m. there was a report of a dead 19-year-old man on Monterey who possibly overdosed. And at 1:53, a 55-year-old fellow was “suffering from multiple health issues,” and an ambulance took him to the hospital.
• Aug. 20: Some scoundrel stole a 3-wheeled bike in the 400 block of Nevis.
• Aug. 20: Two suspicious people were contacted at 9:11 a.m. in the 500 block of the Embarcadero. The wharf rats went to the hoosegow for suspicion of being UTI.
• Aug. 19: A woman driver, 27, got into a minor car accident at 11 p.m. in the 600 block of Atascadero Rd. Logs indicated she was arrested for allegedly driving smashed.
• Aug. 19: The scourge of drug abuse continues, as two more alleged outlaws were arrested at a disturbance call in the 500 block of Embarcadero. A man, 34, and a woman (no age given), were reportedly sniffing the poison, instead of drinking the Kool-Aid.
• Aug. 18: Police got a disturbance report at 11 a.m. in the 300 block of Quintana, it was an uncivil dispute over furniture.
• Aug. 17: At 12:45 p.m., police contacted a woman, 53, in the 500 block of Quintana, who was so intoxicated… ‘How drunk was she?’ She was taken to the hospital before the hoosegow (Thank you, thank you, we’ll be here all weekend…). Police contacted a disorderly man at 4:46 p.m. on the Embarcadero. He was cited for UTI and released to catch another day.
• Aug. 17: Someone burgled an unlocked residence in the 300 block of Sequoia.
• Aug. 16: A woman called at 5 p.m. reporting that she’d lost her wallet after she had lunch at Harbor Hut, no word on whether that was before or after she paid. And in another tourist caper, a man said he left his registered handgun in his hotel room on State Park Road.
• Aug. 16: Police took a report of grand theft in the 600 block of Morro. Personal property and a gold ring worth $1,200 were stolen. A suspect, 34, was arrested for suspicion of grand theft, possession of stolen items, and of course two warrants.
• Aug. 16: A vehicle in the 900 block of Quintana was vandalized and gasoline sucked out of the tank. The sucker left no clues.
• Aug. 15: Police contacted a man and woman at 6:21 p.m. having a row in the 1200 block of Embarcadero. They were allegedly spanked and got taken to the County B&B. That morning, officers found a guy in a bad way outside the police station. Logs indicated he was jailed “for lodging and booking,” and no doubt gourmet meals, too.
• Aug. 15: The ripped rowdies roundup continued with the arrest at Harbor and Front of two more dipsomaniacs.
Pismo Beach
• Aug. 29: A caller reported that someone on a paddleboard out past the buoy might be in distress. Everything checked out OK.
• Aug. 29: A caller reported seeing his ex sell drugs to someone at the Butterfly Grove.
• Aug. 29: A guy carrying a trash bag was trying to get a room at the Shorecliff but would not show his identification with his credit card. He had a change of heart when police arrived.
• Aug. 29: CHP transferred a call concerning a woman on the 300 block of Price who was breaking items in a home with children in it. The temper tantrum was a result of an argument between her and a man. They agreed to separate for the night. An iPhone and laptop were assaulted in the melee.
• Aug. 28: A guy in the lobby at the Quality Inn reported getting into an argument with his girlfriend earlier and she had medical supplies that he needed. He wanted police to help him get into her hotel room.
• Aug. 28: Apples were stolen from a residence on the 100 block of Erna Way. Orange you glad we told you.
• Aug. 28: About 16 cows were making a break for it and wandering along Pismo Creek across from the Price House. The herd followed a bull into the gated area and all was good.
• Aug. 27: A caller asked police to check on her sister who she said was just released from the hospital after she OD’d on heroin. The caller was concerned that her sister was hanging out with another heroin addict. It turns out that her cousin was with her at Motel 6 and also believed that she was on something. The woman checked out OK and was going to stay with family.
• Aug. 27: A caller reported that a guy stole his cell phone from the restroom in the pier parking lot before taking off on a bicycle with a knife stuck in the backseat. Police got the phone back, but the caller discovered that the thief had removed the SIM card making the phone inoperable.
• Aug. 27: A man and woman were reportedly living in a truck with a camper shell on the 900 block of Oak Park, where they had extension cords plugged into a business building.
• Aug. 27: Drug sales and possible prostitution were reported at Motel 6. There were four people in the room and a lot of foot traffic.
• Aug. 27: A woman with a bloody face was walking towards Stimson. She said she was a guest at the Sandcastle Inn but didn’t remember her room number. She didn’t want medical attention and took a cab home.
• Aug. 27: A woman was yelling at employees at Harry’s, and, yes, she had been drinking. She kept leaving and coming back to yell at people.
San Luis Obispo
• Sept. 2: Police got a call at 7 a.m. from the Post Office on Dalidio of a man sleeping in his car parked by the building. He was shipped off and the problem stamped out.
• Sept. 2: At 2:18 a.m. a citizen in the 400 block of Brizzolara said there was some apparent fitness nut on the back porch trying to use the treadmill. He was walked off to jail.
• Sept. 2: At 1:30 a.m. police contacted a stumble-chick on Marsh at Wells Fargo. She was taken to the county photo studio for a mug shot.
• Sept. 2: Someone at Chorro and Higuera called at 1:23 a.m. and said some bongo had been playing the drums for hours. Police snared the tom-toms. But at 2:44, he called again and said, “The drummer is back.”
• Sept. 2: At 12:55 a.m. police responded to a disturbance at SLO Brew, some hophead was trying to fight the bouncer. The 21-year-old got an attitude adjustment at the County Jail.
• Sept. 2: At 12:53 a.m. someone said a drunk took flight from Buffalo Wild Wings and was driving a green Mitsubishi towards Madonna.
• Sept. 1: An alarm sounded at 11:24 p.m. at Air Gas West, but it was apparently a lot of hot air.
• Sept. 1: At 11:18, police and paramedics responded to the 100 block of Higuera for a man bleeding profusely from the face at SLO Beverage N More, yeah, a lot more.
• Sept. 1: At 10:49 p.m. a citizen whispered to dispatch that she was asleep and heard a woman screaming. At the same time, someone at Motel 6 on Calle Joaquin said the guy in the next room was beating his wife.
• Sept. 1: At 8 p.m. someone on Tank Farm Road complained about 15 people making camp by the train tracks. Police didn’t find the hoboes.
• Sept. 1: At 6:45 p.m. someone reported a 1- and 4-year old left in a car at a Dollar Tree Store on Madonna, a hanging offense these days.
• Sept. 1: At 5 p.m. a woman with a disagreeable mongrel was hanging around Starbucks on Higuera.
• Sept. 1: At 12:20 p.m. two cars collided at Santa Rosa and Higuera. At 12:56, two more cars crashed in the 600 block of Toro.
• Sept. 1: At 11:30 a.m. someone was cited for smoking the evil weed outside City Hall.
• Sept. 1: A citizen in the 1700 block of Quail told police their hedge was cut 3-4 inches, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Sept. 1: A woman on Woodside told police her apparent tormentor was within 100 yards of her three times today.
• Sept. 1: A car was burgled overnight at Motel 6, as they no doubt didn’t leave enough lights on.
• Sept. 1: At 7:23 a.m. police got a report of a manic fellow going up and down Perkins Street screaming about death and killing.
