Arroyo Grande:
• Nov. 27: Various items were stolen out of an unlocked vehicle on Avenida de Diamante.
• Nov. 25: Some shifty character was placed under a private person’s arrest for trespassing when he returned to Walmart after he had previously been arrested for theft. He had not been granted permission to return and the steady customer was caught allegedly returning merchandise that he hadn’t paid for.
• Nov. 25: A man attempting to rob a discount cigarettes store in the Grover Beach barricaded himself inside, and was holding a knife to his own throat. He was eventually detained by AGPD and taken into custody by GBPD.
• Nov. 25: A person was arrested for trespassing after police had twice warned him that he was no longer allowed to be at the bus stop unless he was waiting for a bus.
• Nov. 23: A caller on Talley Ho reported that checks were being stolen from a mailbox and fraudulently cashed.
• Nov. 23: Police caught up with a man who was allegedly involved in a hit-n-split traffic accident on the freeway, and he was found to have allegedly been driving smashed.
• Nov. 22: A juvenile on the 100 block of Grand Avenue was arrested for being in possession of alcohol and released with a citation.
Morro Bay
• Nov. 13: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:47 p.m. in the 1100 block of Front St., for some no doubt trumped up code violation. The 32-year-old fellow driving was squeezed for allegedly driving juiced and his lady passenger, 44, was nipped for being schnockered in public.
• Nov. 13: At 6:22 p.m. police contacted a suspicious dude outside Rite Aid and naturally he allegedly was high on drugs. He was cited and released to go get high.
• Nov. 13: Police responded at 2:32 p.m. for a disturbance in the 500 block of Embarcadero. A guy was hauled to County Mental Health for a 72-hour timeout.
• Nov. 13: Police responded to an unlucky, Lucky 7 Gas & Mini Mart in the 1800 block of Main St. for a report of a burglary. Overnight, some tough luck and not too bright miscreant smashed the front door window, stole some cigs and a Lottery display case adorned with copies (worthless fakes) of lucky tickets sold at the store. Luckily, the loss was minimal but the unlucky doorway damage was extensive.
• Nov. 12: Police responded to a disturbance at Marina and Embarcadero and came upon a likely suspect in a “physical altercation.” The train wreck was arrested for being unable to care for himself and no doubt before someone else beat his a**.
• Nov. 12: The nightly dragnet started at 5:24 a.m. in the 500 block of Quintana where police popped an alleged druggie for possession, paraphernalia, and suffering with the horrors. He was injected into the County rehab.
• Nov. 10: Police responded at 3 p.m. to a disturbance in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. Logs indicated they arrested a 66-year-old bent fellow on being forschnicked and for a warrant.
• Nov. 10: At 1:23 p.m. in the 700 block of Quintana, yet another model citizen was arrested for allegedly being high on drugs.
• Nov. 9: Police at the high school are investigating the reported sexual assault of an unidentified, 15-year-old girl by some unnamed cad.
• Nov. 8: Someone turned in a wallet he or she found somewhere in town. The day before, a citizen in the 400 block of Island reported identity theft, a case of win some-lose some.
• Nov. 7: Suspicious circumstances were reported in the 800 block of Morro Bay Blvd. An “unknown male” turned off the water to a business and put a lock on the water meter, a dastardly deed the City reserves for itself.
• Nov. 7: Police responded to the high school at 1:30 p.m. because some vandal damaged one bike but then stole another, a learned case of “If at first you don’t succeed…Try the next one down the rack.”
• Nov. 7: At 11 p.m. police contacted an apparently conspicuously loopy fellow, 34, at the Community Center. He was popped for UTI and paraphernalia, his stash already smoked.
• Nov. 7: Police responded to a disturbance at 11:16 a.m. in the 400 block of Fresno. A 55-year-old ruffian was arrested for the umpteenth time on suspicion of assaulting an elderly victim and attempted robbery.
• Nov. 7: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 8:36 a.m. lurking about in the 1100 block of Napa at the old Elementary school. He was tossed to the nick for suspicion of burglary and of course, violating probation.
• Nov. 7: Police responded to the 700 block of Kern at 8 a.m. for a missing juvenile. Logs list the case disposition as “Exceptional,” no word on why.
Pismo Beach
• Nov. 22: A caller reported someone on bicycle was looking into cars at the Best Western. He was advised against trespassing.
• Nov. 22: A report of possible pot smoking on the 1100 block of Dolliver turned out to be a guy smoking a cigarette not a spliff.
• Nov. 22: Some ballsy cue ball living above Hot Shots pool hall allegedly stole $300 from the cash drawer. The caller said that they had video of the incident.
• Nov. 22: A caller on the 300 block of Wadsworth reported a woman in her 60s was climbing on the side of a house. It turned out to be an un-neighborly dispute and she was assisted back to her apartment.
• Nov. 22: A man wearing a silver jacket and jeans was reportedly loitering at Pismo Yogurt. He had asked the clerk if she was working alone. Ol’ creepy was told to scram.
• Nov. 21: A guy at Northbeach Campground was yelling, screaming, and banging on RVs. He left the area before State Parks could get there, but made a return appearance about 9-minutes later and was hanging out at the closed clubhouse where his luck ran out and he was detained.
• Nov. 21: A car was reportedly driving in circles on the wrong side of the road, as well as going in and out of side streets. It turned out to be a newspaper delivery person.
• Nov. 21: A caller on Bello reported two males possibly trying to break into a residence. The caller did not recognize them. When officers arrived, the window screen had been cut off and the guys were inside. As it turned out, they lived there.
• Nov. 21: A 5-year-old girl who had gotten separated from her family at the pier was reunited with her mother.
• Nov. 21: The SLO Police Department transferred a call concerning a man and a woman fighting on the 300 block of Park Avenue. She said he wouldn’t let her leave. It turned out to be a verbal disagreement and the woman left the area with the kids.
• Nov. 17: A caller reported that a co-worker jumped off the pier and hadn’t made it back to shore after 15 minutes. He was found and headed home to “warm up.”
• Nov. 17: Officers checked on a hammered fellow who was hiding behind a flagpole at the Spyglass Inn. He said he was staying at the inn and would go to the lobby to find out which room was his. His room was located and his friend, who was in even worse shape, was passed out on the bed.
• Nov. 17: A caller on the 300 block of Wadsworth reported that a neighbor was lying outside covered in blood. She bloody well refused medical attention and was turned over to a sober party.
San Luis Obispo
• Nov. 23: And while you were sleeping… At 5:11 a.m. in the 800 block of Ricardo, some Ricky reported a car idling at the curb with no one inside. A few minutes before, in the 900 block of San Adriano, a white Hyundai Accent was ticketed for parking in a crosswalk. At 3:08, someone reported a gray, Mazda hatchback was driving down Higuera at Tank Farm dragging a shopping cart. And earlier at 1:41 a.m. someone reported a shopping cart in the street at Broad and Orcutt.
• Nov. 23: At 12:33 a.m. a woman at South and Broad reported hearing several gunshots… “What’s that? Yes, I suppose they could be car backfire… Yes, yes, I understand, good night…”
• Nov. 22: Police contacted a couple of Jackwagons trespassing at the Jack House on Marsh. They were cite/released back into the wild.
• Nov. 22: At 10:25 p.m. police responded to a crash-n-dash in the 400 block of Mitchell. Logs indicated a 22-year-old man was arrested for suspicion of driving on a toot. No word on the extent of the carnage.
• Nov. 22: Some bent pollywog was upsetting the lily pond at the Frog & Peach around 10:30 p.m. The tadpole, 46, was skinned for being croaked.
• Nov. 22: A citizen called at 9:42 p.m. from the 1700 block of Santa Barbara as two suspicious females were at the back door claiming to be looking for a friend.
• Nov. 22: At 8:12 p.m. someone reported seeing two suspicious worms wigglin’ through a construction fence at German Auto on Pacific.
• Nov. 22: A citizen called at 7:50 from the 100 block of Cross to report a berserk transient man was screaming and throwing things into the street at Idler’s Appliances. He ran off to torment someone else. At 7:48, Madonna Inn Steakhouse had a live one at the front desk and they were asking for a little help.
• Nov. 22: Police responded at 7 p.m. to the 200 block of Madonna for a theft report at Ultra Beauty Salon, and no doubt quite the scandal. Logs indicated the theft occurred some 8 hours before, as apparently the beauty school detectives couldn’t solve the case.
• Nov. 22: Police responded to a disturbance at 6:45 p.m. in the 2200 block of Lawton, as some sinner was drunk and disorderly at the Church of Christ, who BTW turned water into wine…
• Nov. 22: At 6:08 p.m. a woman told police that a suspicious man in a car followed her and her friend for several blocks. The creepazoid disappeared into traffic.
• Nov. 22: Another locked car was burglarized, this time on Fernandez.
• Nov. 22: Someone stole something at City Hall, quick, someone get a rope!
• Nov. 22: Police were called at 3:52 p.m. to the 200 block of Madonna where some shaggy white dude with long gray hair, beard, and gray hoodie took a whiz behind Christians Mattress Store. The model citizen was gone when police arrived.
• Nov. 22: A man called police and said his girlfriend called him and said she was being stalked.
• Nov. 22: Police got a report at 1 p.m. at the Prado Road homeless daycare center of a trespasser who’d been kicked out to rock bottom.
• Nov. 22: Police were called at 11:20 a.m. to the 600 block of Higuera because some transient man was locked in the bathroom for 45 minutes and got all pissy when they kicked him out. Meanwhile at the transit stop by City Hall, some other stubborn dingus was refusing to get his arse off the bus.
• Nov. 22: Police responded at 9:32 a.m. to the 100 block of High where some crazed transient man was acting erratically, yelling and doing drugs. Some 2 minutes later, the same fruit loop dingus was in the street at Higuera and High yelling “You are white trash!” at passing cars.
• Nov. 22: Someone tried to burglarize Moondoggies Surf Shop in the 800 block of Monterey but only managed to mangle the front doors.
• Nov. 22: Police were called at 8:36 p.m. to Farm Supply on Tank Farm, where some transient man had been wandering the store for 45 minutes picking up stuff, and no telling how much crap he’s already stolen. Police had a chat with the sticky-fingered browser.
• Nov. 22: Some anarchist tagged a tank on display outside the Vet’s Hall on Grand Ave.
• Nov. 22: Police responded at 7:30 a.m. to Osos and Peach for a vandalism. The driver’s side window was smashed on a car parked facing the wrong direction, a.k.a. a vigilante parking ticket.
